BALLOON BOY "Story" causes stir around the Globe

Of all the stupid things on the internet, this one has to top the list. This is the story of Falcon Heene, who will forever be known as Balloon Boy because his father APPEARS TO BE an attention seeking media whore.

BALLOON BOY Story gets Media Attention






Even Meghan McCain, who is embroiled in her own Twitter Twitpic Tank top Breast "scandal" had this to say about the whole Balloon Boy Publicity stunt:

OK, at least I didn't dupe the media into thinking I flew away in a homemade balloon :-)

As the story goes, six year old Falcon Heene (Balloon Boy) of Larimer County Colorado was playing around in his fathers oversized home made balloon. Balloon Boy's father, Richard Heene, used the balloon to track the weather.

No strangers to seeking out the limelight, The Heene family had apparently previously appeared on the ABC reality show Wife Swap. ABC described them as a "storm-chasing, science-obsessed family".

Balloon Boy's father said he got angry with Falcon Heene (Balloon Boy) for climbing into a compartment in the tethered balloon on Thursday before the balloon was accidentally released. However, Falcon Heene (Balloon Boy) had left the balloon and hid in the attic of their garage because he was scared of his father. 'He yelled at me' said Balloon Boy in an interview after the Balloon landed in a field full of rescue workers without Balloon Boy in it.

The silver balloon, made by the Balloon Boy's father, reportedly reached heights of 7,000ft and floated about 40 miles north of Denver before it came down in a field full of rescuers, sans Balloon Boy.

When the Balloon landed, the basket was not attached to the balloon. Understandably, flights at Denver international airport were disrupted by the Balloon Boy incident.

As a result of this Balloon Boy incident a massive search and rescue operation was undertaked when it was thought Balloon Boy had been carried away by a helium balloon. After a 2 hour highly televised rescue operation, Falcon Heene (Balloon Boy) was discovered hiding in a box in his family's attic, after the balloon deflated and landed in a dirt field after a two-hour flight. Larimer county sheriff Jim Alderden told reporters that apparently Falcon Heene had "been there the whole time". "What he said was that he saw his brother climb into that apparatus and he was very adamant, they interviewed him multiple times and that was his consistent story," Mr Alderden said "I can't tell you how many times this has happened over the course of my career," he added.
The drama was played out on TV, with US networks devoting their airtime to live footage of the balloon over Colorado. After being found in the attic Balloon Boy said "I was in the attic and he scared me because he yelled at me, that's why I went in the attic."

MARGE SIMPSON IN PLAYBOY

MARGE SIMPSON PLAYBOY PICTURES

hit the news a couple of days ago, along with searches for naked toon pictures of Family Guy's Lois Griffin. Honestly, with all the female cartoons to choose from, why would Hef go for Marge Simpson in Playboy? Perhaps he feels a closer affilliation to the Blue haired.... sorry, that's all I've got.

MARGE SIMPSON NOVEMEBER 2009 PLAYBOY MAGAZINE COVER

Even the searches for Family Guy's Lois Griffin had me wondering what was wrong with society. Take away the fact these are cartoons and not real chicks, spanking over naked toons is just... um I dunno, kinda fvcked up?

I'm not saying I haven't also contemplated the whole Wilma vs Betty debate, but why choose? This is the modern day of sexual liberation, I say Threesome. Hell, why not add a third toon babe and bring in Jessica Rabbit. It's not as if this is real or anything. Hmmmm how about Jane Jetson, sort of the space slut highbred of Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble.

Of course, being the internet whore that I am, I decided to do a little more research into the topic and pulled a few pictures (pictures people) of some sexy female toons. I believe they call this Hentai. I couldn't believe the interest in the topic. So, in true blog whore style, I set up a blog dedicated to the perversion that is... Toon Spanking. So, for those interested in the whole Marge Simpson Playboy Spread and the Playboy Pictures of Marge Simpson, check out http://drawnnaked.blogspot.com

Star Trek Cologne - Never Having To Say You Live In Your Parents Basement

With Christmas not even close to around the corner, some marketing genius has come up with Star Trek Cologne. I'm not saying I don't think Star Trek Cologne will sell, the question is, who would want to wear a cologne that instantly warns pretty much any available woman with a nose you live in your parents' basement.




I know this blog is going to instantly make Star Trek fans reach for their light sabres in a fit of geek anger. Now don't start jumping up and down in some sort of happy geek I know more than you moment, I know Light Sabres are from Star Wars. The thing is, I have a life and I tend not to worry about little things like that, I only waste a few minutes of my time writing about this drivel.

On that note, I think I will go have sex with a woman... Oh ya, I'm married so that means spankin' to the Tiffany Shepherd Porno Video

Chelsea Clinton - 40 goats and 20 cows... and a Cigar

So what is the daughter of an Ex-President of the United States worth? Well, according to Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor of Kenya, 40 Goats and 20 Cows is a fair enough offer for the hand of Chelsea Clinton in Marriage.

Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor first made the dowry offer nine years ago, in proper form, to Chelsea Clinton's father Bill Clinton. Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor renewed his request for the hand of Cleasea Clinton in Marriage on Thursday after Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was asked about the proposal at a Nairobi town hall session.

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Although the audience laughed, after a few seconds of thought, Hilary Clinton was quick to reply in true diplomatic form "She's very independent," she said. "So I will convey this very kind offer."

In an interview with CNN, Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor spoke highly of Chelsea Clinton saying Chelsea Clinton is a "beautiful, disciplined and well-natured woman. Of course I have never met her, but I like her family and how they stick together, I've waited for a long time. I'm still waiting to meet her and express my love for her." Godwin further went on to say "My wife has no problem with this," he insisted. "She listened to the answers given by Hillary and did not complain."

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Here is the Video of Hilary Clinton responding to the Dowry question.



Chelsea Clintons' Kenyan suiter, Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor, operates a small electronics and computer shop in Nakuru, a major city northwest of Nairobi. He may still be waiting for Chelsea Clinton, but he's not exactly single. He married his wife Grace, a college classmate, in 2006.

All that aside, so if Chelsea Clinton were to accept Godwin's proposal, who would cover shipping and handling... of the goats and cows?

Thinking about this, I would like to toss my hat into the Ring. Mr. Bill, I hereby call Godwin's kind offer of 40 goats and 20 cows and raise him 1 Cigar.

So do you prefer Dad, Pop, or just plain Bill?

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PLOWING NAKED VIRGINS IN INDIA

The first thought that came to mind after reading this story about Farmers in India having their unmarried daughters plow their field naked was "Wow that is an interesting form of advertising."

It seems someone in Eastern India decided naked virgins plowing the fields would embarrass the weather gods into bringing some much needed rain. My thought is, if there are indeed weather gods, would they not know bringing rain would put the naked virgins inside. For that reason, rain would be counterproductive as there would be no more naked sweaty virgins plowing the fields in India.

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I'm thinking if naked virgins plowing the fields in India does not work, neighboring farmers could pool their daughters and have one big naked virgin lesbian orgy where all the naked farmers daughters would gather for a lickfest or maybe an all naked girl mud wrestling match right in the middle of the field. Just a thought.

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Here is the original story.

Farmers in an eastern Indian state have asked their unmarried daughters to plow parched fields naked in a bid to embarrass the weather gods to bring some badly needed monsoon rain, officials said on Thursday
Witnesses said the naked girls in Bihar state plowed the fields and chanted ancient hymns after sunset to invoke the gods. They said elderly village women helped the girls drag the plows.


"They (villagers) believe their acts would get the weather gods badly embarrassed, who in turn would ensure bumper crops by sending rains," Upendra Kumar, a village council official, said from Bihar's remote Banke Bazaar town.


"This is the most trusted social custom in the area and the villagers have vowed to continue this practice until it rains very heavily."


India this year suffered its worst start to the vital monsoon rains in eight decades, causing drought in some states.

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Why is my baby's poo yellow

OK, so this is really not the normal area of conversation in this blog... well any of my blogs, to be quite honest. The thing is, this question, well more of a commentary came to me by the way of a friend who just squirted out a third child. Of course the parents are used to the various colours of Child Guano, however, units 1 and 2 were less versed in the ways of the bum hole

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Of course my first response was "Because he is an Alien." "From the planet mamakootchie" I went on in a further email. The thing is, I'm sure many first time parents are asking the very same question "WHY IS MY BABY'S POO YELLOW" Some may say "WHY IS MY BABY'S POOP YELLOW" while others may even refer to poop by its' proper Anglo-Saxxon name "Shit".

So being the socially conscious blogger on a quest for the meaning of life the universe and everything beyond 42, I decided to do a little searching on the healthy colours of Alien Crap. As it turns out, Yellow baby Poo is completely normal. Apparently it is quite natural for infants to have yellow poo, particularly when they are on a purely milk based diet. So the quick answer Yes it is perfectly healthy if your baby's poo is yellow. On the other hand, it is not healthy, nor normal to have Yellow poo, either cooked or raw.

Now Greed poo, that is a completely different story. (continued. Below)

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If your child is shitting green, you better start searching your significant other for the marks of an Alien. Perhaps he or she greets friends with a friendly "NaNoo NaNoo" and drink milk through their finger.


Maybe they have a long nose and are covered in hair and have an obsession for eating cats (Not to be confused with a hairy chinese person). Perhaps he/she has multiple heads (Although I don't know how you could have missed that prior to fvcking them.. or maybe you just like that kind of thing - I'm not judging - Freak!!! :P)

Truth be know, if your baby does have green poo, some chick on the internet says:

"If your baby's stools are green and frothy she may be taking in too much lactose (the natural sugar found in milk), which happens if she feeds often, but doesn't get the rich milk at the end of the feed to fill her up. It may also be caused by overfeeding or underfeeding, or is a sign that your baby has a stomach bug."

So now you know. Now won't you be able to sleep better at night. Remember what your mama told you "Don't eat Yellow Poo!!!"

Oh ya, one last minute thought. Apparently Freud said it is "Perfectly Normal for Children to be obsessed with poo." Adults... well that is another story. Take your Skat fantasies elsewhere you freaks.

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MILEY CYRUS BLOW JOB PICTURES

Once again, the 16 year old jail bait Brats poster child more commonly known as Miley Cyrus has flooded the internet. It appears there is a LEAKED PICTURE OF MILEY CYRUS GIVING SOME GUY A BLOW JOB.

As far as MILEY CYRUS SEX SCANDALS go, this one has gotta take the cake. It is like these people out there do not realize this girl is only 16 years old. Or perhaps that is the attraction formula.

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Regardless of all that, someone out there has already debunked this whole MILEY CYRUS BJ PIC thing as a hoax. Here is a collection of pictures of MILEY CYRUS GIVING A BLOW JOB. Well, not really, she is blowing or kissing her boyfriends ear. From there it is easy to see how the transformation went.

Looking for naked pictures of famous women??? Look no further, check them out raw uncensored and FREE. No sign-in required.

File under
MILEY CYRUS BLOW, MILEY CYRUS BJ PIC, MILEY CYRUS, MILEY CYRUS SCANDAL, MILEY CYRUS ORAL MILEY CYRUS BJ

Related links
Miley Cyrus Underwear pics
Miley Cyrus Sex Tape

If you are still interested in seeing SEX PICTURES OF MILEY CYRUS GIVING AN ORAL BLOW JOB check out this link MUST BE AT LEAST 18 TO VIEW

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CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR PICTURES TO SPANK TO

The Internet seems to be buzzing with "news" of a 37 year old CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR who was jailed for breach of probation and theft of service warrants for charges originating back in 2006.

CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR seems to be claiming she is pregnant with the baby of Dallas Mavericks star DIRK NOWITZKI to whom CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR is also reportidly engaged to.

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It seems everyone wants to see PICTURES OF DIRK NOWITSKI's GIRLFRIEND / FIANCEE CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR I guess NAKED PICTURES OF ASHLEY MASSARO aren't enough to keep the surfers entertained, they need to see a MUGSHOT OF DIRK NOWITSKI's GIRLFRIEND CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR.
Here is the story behind the CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR PICTURE SEARCH

(AP) — DALLAS - A lawyer for Dirk Nowitzki says he doubts CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR's claim that she is pregnant with the Dallas Mavericks star's baby.

CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR, 37, told The Dallas Morning News in an interview from jail this week that Nowitzki was her fiance and that she learned she was pregnant after CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR was arrested at his house on a probation violation and theft of services warrants.

Robert Hart, Nowitzki's Dallas-based lawyer, said in a statement released to ESPN.com on Thursday, "If in the remote instance there is any validity to this CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR's claim of pregnancy, Dirk will do whatever can be done to ensure the well-being of the child."

Don Duesler, Taylor's court-appointed lawyer, declined to comment on the CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR pregnancy issue. CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR, who authorities say has at least eight aliases, remained in jail in Beaumont on Friday.

CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR said in a telephone interview with the Morning News that she and Nowitzki were to be married in July. CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR said she learned of her pregnancy after getting tested when admitted to the Dallas jail, but Hart said "we have been told" that she hadn't received a pregnancy test.

Privacy laws prevent officials from releasing medical records. Dallas County jail officials say pregnancy tests are not automatically given to prisoners but are sometimes administered if the prisoner's statements or pre-existing conditions warrant them.

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After CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR's arrest on May 6, a woman identifying herself as CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR's best friend was telling media outlets that CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR was pregnant with Nowitzki's baby. That, Hart's statement says, raises questions about the claim CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR learned she was pregnant at the jail.

CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR told the newspaper that she'd lived with Nowitzki for the last two years.

"I've known Dirk for seven years-and, no, I didn't tell him everything about my past because I was afraid," CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR said. "But I mean, now I'm pregnant and alone and broke because he is my only source of income."

CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR told the newspaper that Nowitzki changed his phone numbers after her arrest.

Nowitzki has declined to answer questions about his relationship with CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR, but has said he's "going through a tough time in my personal life." The Mavericks said Nowitzki left Dallas for Germany on Thursday.

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Hart did not immediately return a message left by The Associated Press on Friday.

The Morning News said it didn't publish CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR's interview until after a phone conversation with one of her attorneys, St. Louis-based Amy Gervich. The newspaper said that when Taylor said she was carrying Nowitzki's child, Gervich told the newspaper: "Oh, OK. That's OK." Gervich refused comment to The Associated Press on Friday.

CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR was indicted in 2006 on a theft of services charge for failing to pay a Beaumont dentist for dental work ranging from $1,500 to $20,000 CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR received in 2004. CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR has a $50,000 bond set on the theft of services charge, but was also arrested for a probation violation out of St. Charles County, Missouri and is being held without bond on that charge.

CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR pleaded guilty in 1999 to two counts of forgery and two counts of felony stealing after being accused of passing bad checks through a bank. CHRISTA ANN TAYLOR had multiple five-year prison sentences suspended, Missouri prosecutors have said.

Mothers Day Searches - Useless Children

It seems technology has taken over for pure common sense and grey matter in today's children. There seems to be no problem or inability for most to go to Google and type in what they are looking for but simple things like HOW TO MAKE A CUP OF COFFEE seem to have gone by the wayside.

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With today being Mothers day, many useless twat's and basement dwellers are searching for ways to thank their mothers for the years of free rent and of course pushing them out of her hoo hoo dilly in the first place. Ergo the hot search topics of the day. Check these out, they are great for a good laugh

free printable mothers day cards

Come on people, she gave birth to you, spend "a buck fiddy" and get her a real card you stingy shit. Or at least grab a pack of crayons and make your own.

how to make french toast

Really quite simple. Scramble up some eggs, pour in a little milk. dip bread in milk fry bread. You could also add sugar to the mix and sprinkle the egg soaked bread with cinnamon

how to make scrambled eggs

You can't be fvcking serious!!! This was number 4. Look up the word scramble, that should give you a hint... Honestly, can you walk and chew gum at the same time?

how to make an omelette

Pretty much the same as scrambled egs, kinda like a scrambled agg pancake with cheese on it.


cooking bacon in the oven

Ya ok

Fathers day

Wrong month people, learn how to use the schedule on your PDA

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PERFECT PRIVATE PARTS

It seems the whole DESIGNER VAGINA thing is back in the news. This morning I noticed an interesting term on the top 100. "PERFECT PRIVATE PARTS" I guess the BBC did a special on CUSTOM VAGINA'S which included LABIA PIERCING and of course LABIAPLASTY. LABIAPLASTY is basically plastic surgery for the Vagina.

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Consequently, people are now looking for BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURES OF LABIAPLASTY. I have said this before and I will continue to say it, I have never met a Vagina I did not like... Some of the owners of the Vagina's on the other hand did need some serious work, however no plastic surgery could fix some of those defects.

All that aside, I did do a commentary on LABIAPLASTY and DESIGNER VAGINA's last time it popped up in october of last year. In fact, I have some before and after shots of some very pretty vagina's and they can be found here LOOKING FOR A NEW VAGINA

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MARK BALLAS SHAWN JOHNSON BONER

MARK BALLAS of DANCING WITH THE STARS and his SHAWN JOHNSON BONER

It seems DANCING WITH THE STARS star, MARK BALLAS could not hide his "excitement" last night as he stood behind SHAWN JOHNSON sporting a and obvious BONER. From the PICTURE below, it is quite apparent by the extra volume in his groin region, The much older MARK BALLAS has an ERRECTION over 17 year old dance partner SHAWN JOHNSON.

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No stranger to scary old men being sexually attracted to her, 17 year old SHAWN JOHNSON recently had a restraining order issued against another stalker who broke into the DANCING WITH THE STARS set because he felt SHAWN JOHNSON was talking to him through the TV. Producers are unsure how SHAWN JOHNSON's parents feel about the recent development in the crotch of MARK BALLAS as he demonstrates little Marks' appreciation for SHAWN JOHNSON in the form of an ERECTION.

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a close up PICTURE OF MARK BALLAS' BONER

Perhaps MARK BALLAS should consider Spankin' his monkey before the show from now on.

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The Axe on BRAZILIAN WAX

I was muddling around the geeknet looking for interesting stories and stumbled across this little tidbit about New Jersey Health Officials proposing a BAN ON BRAZILIAN WAXING. What can I say, the title caught my attention. Apparently, there have been a couple of BRAZILIANS GONE BAD in New Jersey and the officials wanted to get control of the situation before women all over the state got sore pooters.



This story reminded me about a conversation I had with a customer of mine right around Valentines day.... Yes, I talk to my customers about shaved pussy's. Anyways, this particular customer owns a beauty salon and she was saying BRAZILIAN WAXING appointments go up a few days before Valentines day. Aside from a boner, my immediate response was... not in my household. So of course, being the curious individual I am, I asked my wife why not. Apparently not a good idea, response was fast and furious and included a suggestion that I have my Netherland forest waxed. NoT A FRICKIN' CHANCE.
After that day, my new found trivia on BRAZILIAN WAXING became water cooler banter whenever I had the opportunity to bring it up in mixed company... kinda the way I fly. Anyways, another customer in the salon business brought up an interesting and very disturbing commentary. Apparently, she has several "Male" Clients who like to get their no no naughty place waxed. Being the homophobe I am, my thoughts immediately went to "How gay is that"

At the end of the day, it seems the New Jersey Health officials got hold of their senses and decided to drop the whole silly idea of BANNING BRAZILIAN WAXING. Women... and apparently men, can now rest in peace knowing they do not have to suffer through razor burn and stubble to get the pre-pubescent race car clean look.

RELATED LINK

NEW JERSEY PROPOSES BAN ON BRAZILIAN WAXING

MICHAEL JACKSON ANNOUNCEMENT - Has the World Gone Nuts?

It seems like the world is either nuts or they have a problem with short term memory. It wasn't all too long ago when the dancing freak MICHAEL JACKSON was up on charges of pedophilia. Even if you are a fan of MICHAEL JACKSON, you can't close your eyes to the facts.... This guy slept in the same bed as little boys, he thinks he is Peter Pan and he named one of his children "Blanket"

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All that aside, a couple of weeks ago MICHAEL JACKSON was in the news because of his NEVERLAND AUCTION. I guess buying child prostitutes was getting a little expensive for MICHAEL JACKSON and he needed some spare cash. As if that wasn't enough, it appears the Prince of Pedophiles is going to go on tour. Personally, I really don't care. I guess it is nice for the fans to be able to see their freak idol one last time before he succumbs to chemical poisoning from all the Bleach he is using on his face to make him a Whitey.

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In addition, there are reports out there saying MICHAEL JACKSON is suing the company who is taking care of the Auction of his Neverland Toys. Apparently the Crazy one is pissed because the Auction company listed items he did not want to sell. Even though those items were returned to Wacko Jacko, MICHAEL JACKSON is still suing them for some strange reason.

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RELATED MICHAEL JACKSON ANNOUNCEMENT LINKS

MICHAEL JACKSON GRASPING FOR ATTENTION
MICHAEL JACKSON CONCERT ANNOUNCEMENT

Looking for a New Vagina???

I gotta say, this one kind of caught me off guard. So I'm sitting on the dumper this morning doing my typical blog whoring activities and what to my wondering eyes should appear but anewvagina.com on search stats I see. OK, so the whole pickpocket elmo has gotten me thinking of Christmas before Halloween.
Anyways, being the fan of vagina's that I am, I decided to research the topic. Though hours (Well ok minutes SO FAR) of careful study, I discovered this doctor in Atlanta who does Vaginal reconstruction surgery. I'm impressed, they even have close up pictures of PERFECT PRIVATE PARTS to spank to.

On a more serious note, what would possess anyone to get their pooter chopped up. I looked at alot of the before and after shots, and to be quite honest, I had no problem with the before shots. A Vagina is what makes a woman unique and altering it because it doesn't fit some strange view of "normal" is really kinda fucked up.

Women in Africa are being forced to have their clit's chopped off, while these women who have the freedom of choice are choosing to alter the beauty that is a vagina and get anewvagina.com. Now that is fucked up. See for yourself, here are some before and after shots.





Admittedly, there was at least one picture in there which looked a little scary, however that looked more the be as a result of some mutilation more than anything. In addition, this clinic seems to offer some sort of vaginal augmentation service. By the looks of things, they botox the sides giving a more puffy pussy look. Similar to the ol' lip botox thingy. I don't know about you, but Botox comes from Bovine Toxin, isn't that like Mad Cow??? I don't know if I want a Mad cow anywhere near my penis, I don't care how "pretty" it is.


The Moral of this story... Don't Worry, be happy with your Vagina. Letting a Mad Cow anywhere near it can only result in problems.

If, on the other hand, you are set on getting a "new look" for your pooter, they can be found at anewvagina.com